Chronic Conditions or Here We Go Again

Ready to go into any new building because it’s probably for a dog training thing!

I’ve put off writing this blog entry for a long time. Partly because I was hoping to write once I had all the answers; I still don’t. The other reason I’ve delayed is because I haven’t felt like it. Literally. My motivation for many things has been borderline zero. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism earlier this year which comes with a lack of desire to do things. Even fun things. And it takes a long time to get it regulated (and I’m still in that process). So, while this entry is about Kyu’s chronic condition, my chronic condition is also playing a factor in our lives together.

Kyu started having chronic diarrhea in December of last year (this is when I first noticed I wasn’t feeling all that great as well). I joke that losing Risa sent us both off the deep end and, while it’s not 100% true, there is probably some level of truth to it. It certainly upset our usual lives and caused us both grief. I also started a new job about 2 weeks after losing her which also added additional stress to our lives. For Kyu, he was now left home alone for a longer period of time (I can’t come home to let him out mid-day like I had his entire life). And he’s completely alone because he’s now an only dog. Whereas Risa was fine flying solo, I know Kyu really enjoys the company of other dogs. Stress can certainly make things worse.

Given a lifetime of dealing with chronic diarrhea with Risa (from SIBO to food sensitivities and even HGE), I didn’t worry much at first. I monitored it and made adjustments to try and tackle it on my own. Even though it resembled the type of diarrhea I’d seen in my years with Risa I refused to believe it was the same thing at first. I was worried my bias was influencing what I saw. That I was thinking “zebras” instead of “horses.” Eventually, when things didn’t clear up, we were off to the vet. Fecal test was clear so we did a course of Flagyl and probiotics. He improved but was back to yuck again once the meds were done. Back to the vet for a longer course of Flagyl, continued probiotics, and a test for intestinal parasites (like Giardia). We also started a bland diet to reset his system. Test came back clear; no GI baddies to blame. He did well on the Flagyl and bland diet. Things slid off again after the Flagyl was stopped but I switched one of the foods in his bland diet and things improved. Once he was stable again, I started to transition him back to his regular diet. And it all fell apart again.

Now I was concerned. I didn’t know what was going on and it appeared to be similar to what I’d been through with Risa. I dreaded this. I asked the Universe why it felt I was fit to take care of another GI dog. It clearly hadn’t been watching me cry over shit-soaked carpets or the fact that I can’t even manage something as simple as feeding a dog. I didn’t feel I was getting anywhere with my vet so I took matters into my own hands and ordered the Nutriscan test. I knew people who had good results with it and, in all honesty, I just needed a starting point with his diet. So I sent his spit away for testing and got the results. Yes! He did have food sensitivities! I eliminated everything on the list and he improved. For a while. But things went downhill again. He started having loose stools again. One Friday night, he had urgent diarrhea and then threw up bile in the yard. He then tried to lie down but couldn’t get comfortable. I was very worried so I took him to the vet that night for evaluation. We put him on Flagyl and probiotics again and took blood for a GI panel. Results: chronic pancreatitis. 🙁

Working with Sarah Stremming at Fenzi Camp.

The vet sent him home with some EN prescription food to try but he turned his nose up at it. So I put him on a bland diet again this time with a conscious effort to keep things low fat. He still didn’t stay stable. He would do okay for a while and then, seemingly out of nowhere, do poorly again. Nothing was consistent and he had lost almost 2 lbs (which is a lot for a little guy!). I couldn’t get weight back on him or keep him stable. Even with avoiding the no no foods from the Nutriscan test. I had a consult with a nutritionist which didn’t go very well. It felt more confrontational than conversational (and I can’t say whether it was just me or us both) and didn’t jive with my ideals. I’d also now had two vets tell me the Nutriscan test was bogus and useless. It wasn’t until I tried to adjust Kyu’s diet to include more chicken (buffalo is low fat but expensive!) that I noticed things started to get bad quickly. Chicken was part of the problem (which makes me sad looking back because I was using almost exclusively chicken as a training treat!). And the Nutriscan test said chicken was fine! Now I couldn’t believe anything it said. 🙁 I eliminated chicken from his diet but, still, he hasn’t been stable.

I took him to the TCVM vet that Risa had seen for her GI issues because I wanted both sides of the coin for my options. I also know she will use food therapy to help dogs recover and, most importantly, she’s willing to have a conversation with me about my thoughts and the options I need to consider. Plus she agrees with me that we need to treat the cause not the symptom. Much like Risa whose bouts of SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) were caused by food sensitivities, I feared Kyu’s pancreatitis was also the result of the same. However, it’s also possible he has IBD in addition to the chronic pancreatitis. 🙁 An endoscopy is the only way to know for sure. 🙁 Despite being on Cerenia for a week, supplementing with folate, putting him on probiotics again, and restricting his diet even more; he’s still not stable. Looks like I may be opening up my wallet again for even more GI testing. 🙁

Unsurprisingly, his training has taken a serious downturn. While I’m sure my overlong training sessions definitely played a factor in his previous refusals to work with me, I’m fairly certain he has been sick for a while and that’s why he hasn’t wanted to work. He was such an engaged partner as a baby. Even bouncing off me when we entered the training room demanding to get to work. That’s not who he is now. He leaves sessions. Or isn’t as enthused as I want him to be. It’s because he doesn’t feel good and, unlike Risa, won’t still play when he feels icky. I don’t blame him. My chronic problem hasn’t exactly made me the best training partner as of late either.

I’ve been fortunate he’s felt good enough to be an active partner in several recent events. I had a working spot with him at Fenzi Camp and he was AMAZING all three days. He worked with me and he was even better just being in that environment. Waited patiently outside the ring mostly focused on me. Walked around lots of dogs and people without obnoxiously pulling me towards them. He was a STAR. Even though I know he wasn’t really feeling all that great. The following weekend was his breed specialty where he took 1st in conformation in a large Grand Champion class. He showed well despite not feeling it at all (I wasn’t feeling it either, tbh). I scratched him from racing because I didn’t think it was fair to ask him to do it after being ill so long and he told me he couldn’t do rally so I excused us from that. This weekend, he attended a seminar with Julie Flanery and worked well there too!

But I know we’re both struggling to connect on a training level because we’re both still not 100%. I can’t speak for him; only try and extrapolate from his actions. I imagine he’s feeling a lot like I am right now. I know training my dog should be fun. I know I do enjoy events like this. Hanging out with “my people” and learning how to be a better trainer. And working with my wonderful little partner. But lately I’m just not “there.” Physically I’m there and I’m capable of doing just enough to get something out of it. But I’m not me. I’m going through the motions more than anything. And I feel like that’s where he is too. I can recognize it for what it likely is but that still doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt a little to watch your dog find more joy in sniffing the room than engaging with you. (It’s like having Risa all over again in that respect!) I know it’s possibly temporary. That, once he feels better, he’ll reconnect with me again. And same for me. Once I feel better, I’ll reconnect again and our training will improve. Not just because I’ve learned more and come away with better training skills and options from Camp and our seminar but because I will have the mental and physical stamina to enjoy it again. I’m sure the same will happen for him once we get his disease figured out and stable.

For now, I’ve put a lot of my goals for him on hold. There is no point in trying to train him to a high level when we’re both barely functioning. And I don’t want to poison training by having him feel icky while doing it. We will still train. . .but only if we feel like it. I’m definitely itching to get back into competition. . .but not at the expense of my long term goals. He needs to feel better. WE need to feel better. Then we can truly give our all.

Posted in Chronic pancreatitis, Dog Food, Dog Training Seminars, FSDA Camp, GI Issues, Homecooked, Julie Flanery, Nutriscan, Raw Feeding, Traditional Chinese Veterinary Medicine, Training, Veterinarian | Leave a comment

Average Joe

Natural, hunting instincts: intact. Leisurely walks with squirrels around: impossible!

(Before I delve into the meat of this post, I want to preface it with this: I am all for the preservation of natural abilities in dogs. I love nothing more than watching a dog “do it’s thing.” Whether it’s a German shepherd herding a flock or a team of huskies pulling a sled. It makes my heart sing to see dogs doing their job. And I know it makes the dog’s heart sing too. I also still feel there is definitely a need for dogs who can do jobs. From police K-9s to service dogs, etc. There is definitely still a place for dogs with jobs in our society.)

I teach dog training classes to the general public. Your average dog owners. Their needs are simple. They want a dog who can behave nicely in human society and, often, with little effort to obtain said results. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. After all, who doesn’t want results with minimal effort? They also aren’t looking for a hiking buddy; they want a dog who’ll be content with short walks or just being let out into the back yard for bit. Time is at a premium and, in their hectic lives, the dog takes a back seat.

Many like the idea of a dog but not the reality. They get a border collie because they want a smart dog and then they’re annoyed when it moves non-stop or herds the kids. They forget this is a dog bred to herd sheep over great distances all day long. They bring home a Jack Russell terrier and are annoyed when it digs up the yard or tries to chase squirrels on a walk. They forget this breed is an excellent ratter and digging is completely natural. We get a purebred dog because we expect it look and behave a particular way. . .but we forget the reality of this nature. That it needs to be expressed. That, if we won’t give the dog an outlet, he’ll find one on his own. Because that’s who he is even if that’s not what we want.

I had a dog I fostered named Augie who was, what I would consider, the best dog for the average person/family. He didn’t want to do anything. The first time I let him loose in the house to explore, he sniffed around a little bit and then just plopped down into the middle of the living room to take a nap. He was the epitome of a bump on a log. I swear he got annoyed with me when I made him exercise and move around (and I don’t think it was just because he was overweight). Having owned active, do something dogs and previously fostered dogs of the same type. . .I didn’t know what to do with him. Honestly, he didn’t WANT me to do anything with him and that was a first for me. But that is what the average person wants in a canine companion. A very easy, laid back dog. Maybe just a step up from a stuffed animal.

So why aren’t we breeding more companion dogs? That’s really what most people want. Yet they’ll still go out and buy a dog who could “do the work” when they don’t need a working dog! What’s the point in getting a herding dog when you don’t own stock? Why get a terrier when you don’t have a vermin problem? If you don’t take a sled to work, why get a dog bred to pull?

I’m all for purpose-bred dogs. . .and companionship is a purpose. And it’s a far more necessary one in our current lives than that of the working dog. I know many of us with purpose-bred dogs (be it a sportmix or a breed historically bred for a certain task) look down on people breeding dogs “just for companionship.” Granted, our dogs serve that purpose as well but we want the dogs to maintain their ability to do that task rather than just look the part (I am personally a HUGE proponent of this). But should we really turn up our noses at people looking to purposefully breed better companion dogs? Especially knowing that these dogs are going to be less likely to end up in shelters because they’re too much for the average family? Knowing that they’re going to be better suited to contemporary lifestyle than the breeds whose instincts we’re bent on preserving? While it is true that breeding for high-level dogs will often result in pets better suited for average people, wouldn’t it be almost better for the goal to be simply pets for the average person? Regardless of your breeding decisions, there will always be outliers. Dogs bred for work who can’t do the work. Or dogs bred for pets that have to do the work.

Society has changed and I know dogs will too. They’ve adapted to our changing lifestyles over their history with us. From hunting companions to farm guards and now snuggled up on the sofa. I think we’d find far fewer dogs in shelters or with people who are “at the end of the leash” with their dog’s intolerable behaviors if we focused more on making dogs what the average person wants.

Posted in Thoughts | Leave a comment

The Next Leg

Me and Yu.

It’s been almost 2 months since Risa left this world. Grief still washes over me from time to time. I still miss rubbing her neck ruff and placing my face where her muzzle met her head and just breathing in her scent. My face fit perfectly right there. . .like a matching puzzle piece. I’m pretty sure Kyu is handling it better than I am but there is no doubt things changed between the two of us after her passing. Partially because the little empath knows when I’m upset even if he doesn’t know why. And because the household dynamic changed.

It feels like fall is failure time when it comes to training Kyu. I struggled with his training last autumn as well. (Likely due to a different stressor: job loss. I’m beginning to hate October.) He’s a very different dog than Risa and, for this, I’m mostly thankful! He’s really a delightful little dog who’s super playful and fun to be around. He’s also very easy to live with even if he is overly obsessed with squirrels and other dogs (it’s a work in progress). I know he and I got off to a bit of a rocky start but, truly, I love the little one.

I knew he would come with his own set of challenges (as we all do!) that would force me to become a better trainer. After all, his predecessor did the same. She forced me to rethink what I thought I knew, learn more, and adapt. Kyu is following in her mighty pawprints. <3 Whereas I struggled with Risa's life skills (yay for fear and reactivity!), Kyu and I are struggling with his sport training. I didn't realize it at the time, but Risa was a very forgiving dog when it came to training. She could take very little information from me and, somehow, figure it out. She was also willing to keep going and keep trying (yay for herding/working breeds!). I recently found one of our old videos of a shaping session and OMG I have no idea how she even figured out what I was asking for! LOL. She worked hard through silence and me staring off into space giving her no input whatsoever and, amazingly, managed to come up with the behavior I wanted. Yikes! I'm so glad I'm much better at shaping behaviors now! Risa would also work for long periods of time and just keep going with it. This was pretty reinforcing for me, too, as I also enjoy the training process!

Kyu is not like that. While he can train for longer periods of time, he’s not going to work on the same thing for a half hour. Even if I switch things up and only work on each thing for a short period, he’s still not going to be into the game as much as Risa was. He is also incredibly sensitive to my moods and picks up on my frustration even more readily than Risa did (and she was also very sensitive). I’m also finding he needs things to be very clear or he’s likely to just give up. He doesn’t want to be “wrong” (moreso because of how I respond even though I try my best to make sure he realizes it’s not a big deal) so he will just stop if it’s unclear what I want. Which, of course, is hard for me because I’m human and it feels like my dog doesn’t want to work with me! I can objectively realize that it’s just information that I can use going forward in training. . .but that’s often hard to do in the moment!

So I’m trying to figure out how to best train him so that I get the results I want and he is a happy and engaged partner. It’s hard. I’m finding it difficult to use some of the methods that have worked with Risa (and my students’ dogs) to train him. He loves to play and he loves to play WITH me (not just with toys) so I have that advantage. But it’s sometimes hard to incorporate play into training when I’m not used to doing so. I’m trying to watch and read his body moreso and be more mindful of breaking down the behaviors into smaller pieces so he can be successful and not frustrated. AND also to recognize when he’s “non-compliant” that maybe he really doesn’t know it as well as I thought and/or we haven’t worked on it in ages so maybe we should start at an earlier part of the process before I just assume he’s still got it. I’m also getting a little sneaky and trying to work it into our moments of play (either with toys or personal). Asking for a spin before I toss frizzee or something. I’m also trying REALLY hard to reward him for effort even if it’s wrong. Anything he tries = reinforcement of some kind. THIS IS HARD. Even though I know “wrong” is just information. Even though I know I want to keep training in the happy bucket (thanks, Amy Cook!) and focus on his attitude more than his performance/precision. Even though I know that he will not learn the “wrong thing” if I reward the “wrong thing” because I’ll change my training session accordingly so he doesn’t keep doing the “wrong thing. . .” IT IS HARD.

I know he’s going to make me a better trainer just like Risa did. And I know he’s going to be an amazing, talented, and wonderful performance dog. It is just going to take some time. I was patient waiting for Risa to be ready (ha ha, okay, no I wasn’t but I still waited!). I have to do the same for Kyu.

Posted in Amy Cook, Dog Sports, Dog Training Seminars, Thoughts, Training | Leave a comment

The Journey Continues

You may not be physically with me anymore, Risa, but you were such a part of me that you’ll never be truly gone.

It’ll be 4 weeks tomorrow since I said our final “good bye.” It seems like no time at all and an eternity all at once. I’ve handled your passing better than I thought I would. Probably because I knew it was coming and had been mourning you for months prior to that final decision. Also because I knew it was the right choice for you. Even though I don’t think either of us was ready for it. I’m thankful I had a couple days to spend some special time with you and take you some places. And spoil you with food. Life’s cruelest joke to you: your love of food and your inability to eat so much of it without it destroying your gut! But you had some apple, a donut from a local bakery (not from Dunkin!), some pizza, cheese, hot dog (the local specialty), tons of McDonalds fries, and a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream before you passed from this life.

I still mourn for you. I miss kissing you between the eyes, rubbing your ears, and rolling the excess of neck skin you had between my fingers. I miss how good it felt to wrap my arms around your chest and hug you even if you weren’t always as into it as I was. I miss your smile; it never ceased to warm my heart and was your best feature. I miss everything you were to me. I know Kyu misses you too. He worshiped the ground you walked on since the day he arrived.

I sent a small donation to the shelter I adopted you from to help other dogs find their special person (or people). And I fully intend to do exactly what I did while you were still here to honor what you were to me. I will continue to support pet rescue. I will continue to teach dog training classes so that people can have great relationships with their dogs like the one we shared. I will again open my home to foster rescue dogs to help them find their perfect family. Everything you taught me will be passed on. It’s the best way I can honor you.

I hope, someday, I can have such a close relationship with another dog. Ours was close by necessity; I had to know you intimately to help you learn to cope with the world. Through that necessity, I learned that the best way to train any dog is by discovering what they need and listening to them. That we’re both a part of the process and communication goes both ways. I’ve still got a long way to go on my journey. . .but you started me in the right direction.

Thank you, again, for everything.

“It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime. So let me say before we part. So much of me is made of what I learned from you. You’ll be with me like a hand print on my heart. And now, whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.” For Good –Wicked

Posted in Aging, Fostering, Thoughts, Training | Leave a comment

The Final Lesson

Run free, my friend. Thank you for everything.

“Risa” Veteran MF-GrCH Dancing Cavy’s Pain in the Butte W-FDM/MF MF-M Vet InS/E R-FE/N PCD BN RAE RL1 (AoE) RNX CA TKP CGC WCX3
January 10, 2004 (?) – October 9, 2018

It’s hard to believe over 12 years ago I brought you home from the shelter. Twelve years together and it still wasn’t enough. You’ve left a huge hole in my heart that will never be filled. I cannot believe you are gone.

When I started looking for my first dog, I wanted a dog who could go anywhere and do anything. I wanted a dog to get involved in dog sports with (specifically agility). Your listing on Petfinder sounded like a perfect match. Like you were exactly what I’d been dreaming about. My disappointment was immense when I was told you were no longer available. . .only to be replaced by sheer joy when they realized you were there at the shelter instead of in your home. I drove 3 hours just to meet you. My mom told me she knew the only way you weren’t coming home with me was if you bit me. You had perfect half prick ears and the most wonderful smile. I knew it was meant to be. You were mine. You were always supposed to be mine.

I took you home and you were not the dog I had dreamed of. I knew you were afraid. I knew you were going to be some work. You were a challenge. You were always a challenge. I was completely in over my head. I thought I knew dogs. You showed me how little I knew. I was frustrated. I didn’t know how to help you. But I wanted you. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted to figure out how to help you. So I did. I reached out to friends. I signed you up for training classes. I have no idea how I ended up in the clicker class but I know our journey would have taken a different path if I hadn’t. It was the way I was supposed to go.

Training classes were always a blast!

Despite your fears, you excelled at training. You loved it! I wanted to do more so I signed you up for freestyle despite my reservations about the sport. I didn’t want to do it. You were a rock star in the class and changed my mind. Freestyle was always your sport. You loved to perform. You were a ham. You lit up the stage. Our bond together was showcased every time we walked out into the performance space. So many times we danced together. As a team. As one unit. Demos. Competitions. It didn’t matter. We were one out there on the dance floor.

You dabbled in other sports as well. Rally, Rally-FrEe, obedience, agility, barn hunt, nosework, herding, and lure coursing. Lure coursing was your natural love. Running was your favorite activity and this was a great outlet for my beast. You’d drag me out onto the field barking and acting all crazy. I loved watching your pure speed after that plastic bag bunny. The absolute joy on your face. Lure coursing was for you. Rally was for me. And freestyle was for us both.

Together, we overcame a lot. You grew more confident and less fearful. You beat the odds and became a success in dog sports despite your dog reactivity and fears. You survived cancer (mammary carcinoma when you were 9). You survived a slipped disc and IVDD diagnosis at 12 and still continued on in dog sports afterward. Your gastrointestinal tract was a mess for your entire life yet you thrived. We didn’t give up.

You were my teacher and I tried my best to be a good student. You taught me so much. Not just about dog training. Not just about reactivity and fear. Not just about raw feeding, homecooked meals, or quality kibbles. Not just about cancer, gastrointestinal issues, back problems, and other health concerns. You taught me about life. You made me realize who I wanted to be and how to be a better me. I saw much of myself reflected in you. Like we were two souls intertwined.

But you didn’t just teach me. Your guidance extended beyond just my life. You helped me raise foster dogs. You helped raise Kyu. You helped me fulfill my dream of being a dog trainer where I’m constantly spreading the knowledge you taught me. You taught our lure coursing operator how to help others catch their dogs after a run when the dog didn’t want to be done because you never wanted to be done with lure coursing and I needed to get you off the field! You taught your vet about the multitude of pain management options available. You have been the ripple.

We’re all fortunate to have known you, Risa.

You lived in three states. You walked in the Beartooth Mountains. You swam in Long Island Sound!

You were practically famous. You were featured in the newspaper several times. Your photographs and personality populate several books. You’re even in a couple dog training DVDs!!

I knew I was going to have to make a hard decision at the end. One last lesson I needed to learn. I tried everything I could to keep you comfortable and happy. But my options ran out. You hurt too much and I couldn’t ask you to stay. I knew it would only get worse. . .and there was nothing else I could do. I tried my best to spoil you over your last days. I stuffed you full of your favorite foods. I took you out to sniff and enjoy the world even though it was hard for you to get in and out of the car. I know it was the right choice but it was the hardest one I’ve ever made in regards to your care. How can I ever thank you enough for everything you’ve been to me? You were with me through my entire adult life. Through several moves and lay offs. Through good times and bad. You were my rock. . .and I was yours. I will continue to pass along all the knowledge gained from a lifetime with you. I will never forget you. I miss you so much. What I wouldn’t give to massage your neck ruff again and bury my head in it. How I miss your kisses on my chin and your amazing smile. You were my heart. And I will love you forever.

Posted in Aging, Back Problems, Canine Freestyle, Dog Sports, GI Issues, IVDD, Lure Coursing, Obedience, Rally, Reactivity, Thoughts, Training, Veterinarian | Leave a comment